Lemonades burn toxins and street dogs burn calories
The best thing about summers is, (No. It is not holidays, mangoes, movies, ice creams or IPL) sitting on the couch and listening to your mother’s ranting about how lazy you are and how chubby your cheeks have become. Get the feeling? I’m glad! So, I was lazily browsing through the TV, when my mom snatched the cup of ice cream I was holding in my hand and replaced it with a glass of lemonade.
“Lemonade is a great source of vitamin C and one cup of the juice gives you 187 percent of the day’s total vitamin C requirement and kills harmful toxins.”
Woah! What's with all these stats and facts?
Thanks to all those forwarded messages on Whatsapp.
“You forgot sugar.”,I ventured after tasting it.
“Sugar has high calories and makes you gain a lot of unhealthy weight, honey is a good replacement.”
Okay. What is this sudden health conscious? Like I am contesting for Miss India or something.
“You know what?”,my mother started off. “There is a famous saying about lemons and lemonade. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So, the positive approach is very important in life and in anything. Now you have put on a little weight, but it doesn’t matter. Go for a jog or a run. Eat and drink healthy stuff.”
“Yeah.”, I said and secretly wondered why the hell would life give us lemons? Like I mean why can’t it just give us solutions to our problems? Before my mother could turn the conversation into a philosophical, motivating and inspiring lecture, I ran out of the house with my running shoes and I could tell she was pretty impressed, because I was becoming health conscious too. So, I actually decided to do some decent running. I reached the colony park and saw some fifty year old aunties doing excited breathing.
Yoga.
Old uncles jogged all along the way.
Health.
Great! Perfect atmosphere, just that everyone here was approximately thirty years older to me, but never mind. So, I started jogging. Then some of the uncles who knew my dad, tried to catch my pace and asked, “Hello! Did you finish your exams? How did it go?”
Excuse me what exams? The exams I wrote four months ago?
“Yes uncle. It went well.”
“How about the result?”
“Never mind that uncle.”,I said quickening my pace.
Then the inevitable happened. The aunties surrounded me and started doing typical auntyji stuff like pulling my cheeks and patting my head.
Okay. This is a bad place. So, I decided to hit the road. I was busily jogging when I spotted Moti, the harasser and turned back before she (I’m not sure if it is a she, how do you know a dog’s gender? The usual process?) could spot me. But too late she had already seen me and was running behind me.
“Rrrrrrarckk!”,she barked and ran behind me.
Basically Moti’s thing in life is to bite my leg at least once and make me get sixteen rabies injections. That stupid thing is our colony street dog and is extremely disgusting with black fur and red eyes and I hate it.
I ran till I was out of breath and stopped for a while and realized it was still chasing me. With doubled speed I reached home and shut the door behind me.
Right! That was so not my idea of a peaceful calorie and fat burning run.
Dump health conscious.
Dump losing fat.
Dump running and jogging.
And dump all the fitness trash talk.
Relax on the couch, watch TV and eat two cups of ice cream. And do not go to parks for a walk or run on the roads. And one more thing, if ever life gave you lemons, make lemonades with half of them and burn toxins or whatever. And the remaining half? Throw them at annoying people and stupid street dogs.
*****
Awesome blog.. big fan!!
ReplyDeleteAaaah! thank you! *cries a little*
Delete